Good morning! I have been up since 0520 preparing for the job search fun. It will be another busy day looking for jobs and not falling hard into the cycle of a lack of faith.
Recently, I got out of the U.S. Army, serving over 9 years. I was a Human Resources Specialist and have been working hard to keep my resume updated and applying for multiple jobs. My constant feelings of failure haunt me because with the time I learned to be a HR professional, it has not opened a door. For the last five years it has been a rollercoaster, which led me to get out of the Army. I now struggle to find my identity and worth because as you leave the service you realize that you were just a number. I mean that is cool, replace me with a new enlistee and I wish them the best, but what do you do next?? The transition has been rough and unfortunately I now understand the depression associated with trying to live a new life and being able to adapt. I have lost my identity as a Soldier and now I have no job. Some may say, “you need to relook what makes you happy”, though I can always reassess what makes me internally happy, I know that my professional life is important. I do have to pay bills and have some security! I learned very young not to depend on someone else; seeing my mother cry because of my father throwing in her face her financial burdens instead of helping her. It’s rough out here in the world. It becomes overwhelming and sometimes the idea of not waking up sounds serene. I am not going to sugarcoat it! But, I don’t want you to give up. These trials eventually make us stronger and though you may not see it now, I may not see it now…one day we will. I got told last night I have a high tolerance for bullshit. LOL…Yeah, I do, and you know a lot of us do. Dealing with the constant agonies and petty affairs of our society can lead one to have a high tolerance for pain.
All in all, I just want to say, keep pushing, keep dreaming, keep believing that a door will open. Not just any door, but the door to fulfill you, the door to heal you, the door to unbind you, the door to restore your vision, the door to give you hope, the door to help you realize you have a purpose! I hope your day is full of love and opportunity! The prayer has been sent for you! Now go tackle your day like the Eagles did Sunday.